My Journey as a Maternity Mate by Adama Berry
My Journey as a Maternity Mate by Adama Berry
I embarked on my journey as a Maternity Mate because of the experiences I had during my time in hospital. As a mother of seven children, each birth brought new knowledge, but these experiences also made me realise how much I would have benefited from having a Maternity Mate, particularly as English is not my first language.
Had I had the support of a Maternity Mate, things could have been different – and better. A Maternity Mate would have provided reassurance, confidence, and peace of mind. They could have helped me navigate situations where I didn’t fully understand the midwives' questions or the context. They would have prepared me to respond effectively, informed me of my rights, and perhaps even encouraged me to do breathing exercises. Unfortunately, I didn’t have this support, and that realisation became my main motivation for becoming a Maternity Mate myself.
Seeing the positive impact this project can have on mothers made me eager to get involved.
Maternity Mates are able to guide mums towards local services, offering signposting that can be vital for a mother’s mental health. Having a Maternity Mate benefits not only the mother but also the midwife, as this support acts as a bridge when there are language or cultural barriers.
I underwent five weeks of Maternity Mate training, which was truly inspiring. It was both informative and eye-opening, covering crucial topics such as breastfeeding, mental health, and active listening. The training introduced me to a variety of people, from different professions and with diverse visions, but all united by the same goal: to support women on their maternity journeys.
My first experience supporting a mum felt empowering, as I knew I was offering her opportunities I hadn’t had. I wanted her to understand the importance of having that extra person by her side, someone to empower her. Unfortunately, the relationship didn’t go as I’d hoped; the mother had a friend who was supporting her already. I fully respected her decision, providing her with information on mental health and Parent Action groups before concluding our support.
However, I didn’t give up. Relationships vary from one person to the next, and I was determined to try again. When I began supporting another vulnerable mum, things were very different. This mum welcomed my support and was open to working with me. I gave it my all: I signposted her to local services, helped her prepare for the baby’s arrival by visiting second-hand shops, and accompanied her to the baby bank at the Salvation Army for clothes and a car seat. I also supported her at midwife appointments, assisting with interpretation, and I visited her in hospital when she gave birth.
Our relationship blossomed. It reached a point where she invited me to her baby-naming ceremony, a significant cultural event for her. Being there felt incredibly rewarding. Her family expressed their gratitude, and other pregnant women even asked if I could be their Maternity Mate.
Seeing the joy on her face and the impact on her family filled me with pride. Of course, I ensured that everything was within the boundaries we were trained in for safety, checking with Parent Action before attending the ceremony. Their support, including checking in on my well-being, helped me avoid feeling overwhelmed.
It’s not easy moving somewhere new, especially when you don’t know many people. I feel the mum I supported was fortunate to have been referred to the Maternity Mate project, as she had recently moved to London from outside the city. I also feel lucky to have been part of this experience.
Now, she is an independent mother who knows the local groups and can attend activities with her babies on her own. Empowering women is a key goal of this project, and I could see this transformation in her. When we ended our relationship, she expressed her deep gratitude. I assured her that we could still meet at baby groups, and she could always reach out to Parent Action if needed. I felt proud to have achieved my goal of helping her become more empowered.
As I move forward, I want to apply everything I’ve learned from my time as a Maternity Mate. My children and husband are proud of me; they’ve witnessed the entire journey – the challenges and the triumphs. As a Parent Champion, I’m eager to continue learning, especially in areas like mental health, and to keep supporting my community. I want to encourage women to attend parenting courses, join baby groups, learn English, and build relationships within the community for a better future.
Lastly, I want to express my heartfelt thanks to Parent Action and Southwark for bringing this incredible project to our borough. I’m confident that many others will benefit from it, just as I have. And to all the Maternity Mates I trained with – I wish you the best of luck in your journeys.
Parent Action are running the Maternity Mates pilot in Southwark in partnership with Sister Circle and Kings Maternity Services. To find out more about Sister Circle's Maternity Mate's project please click here: Sister Circle